Right at this moment, I’m sitting at the desk in my library (my personal library, not public one that employs me), my laptop on and a bunch of Word documents open. The room is filled with bright, early-afternoon sun. The dog is lying at my feet and the stillness is broken only by the sound of birdsong filtering in through the open windows. Barring a half hour break for lunch and a few excursions to the kitchen for tea, this scene hasn’t changed much since 8:30 this morning. It’s a beautiful, perfect day, the kind I look forward to all year, and it seems appropriate that a day like this would herald the next phase of my life.
I started my new job today. My adult librarian responsibilities took effect at 9am. But though I’m excited about that, it’s not the reason my heart is light and hopeful. The reason I’m still at home on this beautiful Monday is because I no longer have to work at the (public) library on Mondays – my new position only requires me to be there four days a week. But don’t think for a minute that I was unproductive on my first day “off” – I woke up at 6am, got ready, and had my breakfast and coffee like I would any other day. Except when 8:30 rolled around, instead of finding myself in the middle of a commute, I walked down the hallway to my (personal) library, fired up my computer…and started writing.
There are few things in my life that have ever felt so right. My happiness at spending the entire day alone with my thoughts, immersed in words and language, is a joy bordering on euphoria. Today was the first day in my adult life that I didn’t have to drag myself out of bed in the morning – I was actually excited to start the day, excited for the possibilities in front of me. I’m properly terrified as well – it’s time to put up or shut up, after all – but that feeling of rightness hasn’t abated at all, and I’m clinging to it like a life preserver.
I started two stories today. Both have been bouncing around my head for a long time now, just begging to be put to paper, and I’m thrilled (and relieved) to finally oblige. The first one is a bit of a wild card – I have no idea where it’s going or if it’ll be at all good or interesting. The second one, though, I think I can turn into something. It probably won’t be very long, but it might not be half bad. But in the midst of all of these unknowns is the one thing I’m sure of – I now have several pages filled with single-spaced type where only yesterday there was blank white space. Those thoughts and people and worlds didn’t exist until I made them exist. I’m writing. I’m creating. Right now it’s just a start, an opportunity. But you can bet your ass I’m going to take it and run with it.